Rudeness

Rudeness is exactly the opposite of etiquette: lack of consideration, courtesy and respect towards others.

Some acts of rudeness include:

1) Cutting into a checkout line at the store.
2) Speaking loudly on the cell phone, so everybody hears you.
3) Spitting on the sidewalk.
4) Treating a service provider with arrogance.
5) Not cleaning after your pet.
6) Speaking obscenities in public places.
7) Littering.
8) Smoking in non-smoking places.
9) Making cynical or sarcastic comments with the pure intention to hurt your listener.
10) Not controlling your kids.

But, how do you react to rudeness?

Do not lose your temper and always keep control of your emotions and your feelings.Remember, if you take it personal, you lose. So, don’t!

Assess the situation and don’t let rudeness be in control instead of you. With your kindness and courtesy in control, everybody wins.

Treat People like People!

Beggars, chuggers, sales assistants, market researchers etc...always treat them with a good-humoured, polite response. Even if your response is 'No' - it's worth lengthening it to 'No thank you' - most people do respect this and many will often respond in a polite manner too.

When someone asks you for money, a simple 'I can't' or 'I'm sorry' costs you nothing. Rudely stalking past or snapping costs you your dignity. Begging is often not just about asking for money, it's about asking for social recognition or interaction and who are we to deny anyone this?

Also we must remember the adage, never crap on those below you on the social ladder, because you might meet them on your way down.

On Mobile Phone

There are some circumstances where a mobile phone should not be used at all: turn the thing off or let it in silent mood for a little while. These are circumstances where the ringtone and ensuing conversation would be obtrusive, such as at a movie, concert, or church service.

There are some circumstances where using a mobile phone is fine, as long as the user thinks anyone who happens to be actually standing near them. Think of a person standing in line at the supermarket. Before s/he gets to the cash register, they may talk away. Once they get to the register, however, it's time to say 'Look, I'll call you back in a minute,' and hang up. Remember that the person standing behind the cash register is just that - a person, and should be treated as such.

As long as you don't ignore the people standing around you, and don't talk really loudly, and the conversation doesn't intrude on what you're doing, talk all you want.

Street Etiquette

With our pathways growing under the weight of pedestrians, we should all pay heed to the following...

• Don't meander along in the centre of the pavement, especially if holding hands with someone.
• Leave space for others walking faster to pass by.
• If standing talking or at a bus stop, also leave space for passers-by.
• A keep-to-the-right convention would be good to avoid those head-on encounters where you side-step in unison.
• Please don't spit or discard chewing gum on the pavement

At Restaurant or Dinner Party

"Traditionally, men remain standing until women are seated. This is an especially nice gesture when guests are of different generations, such as grandsons showing courtesy and respect to their grandmothers. Men assist women with their chairs unless the waiter or host does."


Credit: Cecelia Pading

On the Public Transport

Few etiquette for riding on the buses or any form of public transport:

Giving up your seat - Standing up for younger children especially those not yet in their teens is a matter of safety as they do not yet have as well defined a level of balance as an adult yet. While you can quite happily manage the bends and sharp halts, a child can't. So if you do see a mother struggling with a younger child give up your seat, she is not only having to balance herself but also her child.

Smells - If you're going to use the bus (or any other form of public transport) you're going to be in close proximity to other users. Do them a favor and control excess smells; we're talking about body odor, bad breath and pungent food.

Volume - Keep the volume down on your personal stereo! For heaven's sake, we don't want to hear it.

Personal space - You with the newspaper - keep your elbows in please.

Queues - Admittedly these days there are multiple queues for different buses all at the same stop. But try and remember who got there before when it comes to getting onto your bus and don't push too far ahead of others when your bus does eventually turn up accompanied by two others on the same route.

Seating - Don't have a place for you and a place for your bag - you'll only have to put them on the floor when someone wants a seat, so save yourself the hassle. Also, don't sit on the aisle seat and leave the window seat vacant - it's just inconsiderate and unnecessary.

Entering the Church (Late)

The time to arrive at church is before the service starts, but for some unknown reason, it has become the custom - or rather the bad habit - for some to come to church late.

If you arrive after the Divine Liturgy begins, try to enter the church quietly - and observe what is happening. If the Epistle or Gospel is being read or the Little or Great Entrance is taking place, wait until it is finished to quickly find a seat. If Father is giving the sermon, stay in the back until he has concluded. If in doubt, check and see if it is a good time to seat yourself. Try not to interrupt the Liturgy with your entrance.

By the way, the best way to avoid this problem is to arrive on time - then you don't have to wonder if it's okay to come in or not. People who come late to the Liturgy should not partake of the Eucharist!

Basic Email Etiquette

Simple etiquette on writing and sending of email be it an office memo or a great joke that you want to share with your friends.

The number one rule when writing email is there is NO private email. Some company’s will monitor what their employees are sending and receiving, and there is always the possibility of a hacker cracking your password and reading what you might have considered confidential. Never write anything in an email that you wouldn't mind your mother or your boss reading.

Spelling and grammar is another major pet peeve for many people. Roughly 90% of all email programs designed after 1999 have a built-in spell check feature. Use this! And please remember, TYPING IN ALL CAPS is considered extremely rude. It is the equivalent of yelling or shouting in cyber space. When addressing an email, address it the same as you would if you were speaking to the person in real time. Please remember to put something relevant in the subject line of your emails, too. Keep in mind that some people can get hundreds of emails in a day, and if your email has a blank subject line, the recipient might delete it thinking it was “junk” mail. Also, there is no need to use excessive punctuation!!!!!

Another frustrating aspect of email is the content that is being sent. A good rule to live by is, keep it to one page if at all possible. Here are the top 5 rules of email etiquette you should know.

• Not all programs are alike - Unless you are sure the person(s) you are writing to have the software to view it, do not use fancy text and colors or HTML coding, and if you are sending a link to an in internet site, always type out the actual address.
• The cup runneth over - Let’s say you find out that one of your co-workers likes fishing as a hobby. This does not mean that you need to flood this person’s mailbox with every article, joke and newsletter on fishing that you come across. This will definitely not be appreciated unless asked for. Ditto on chain letters, bogus virus warnings and urban legend email. If, for some reason, you find that you cannot help yourself but to send something along the lines of the aforementioned topics, do everyone involved a favor and don’t forward it. Simply copy and paste the meaningful part of the email and send that to your acquaintances. Nobody wants to have to scroll through miles of text and addresses to get to the meat of the mail.
• Unnecessary attachments - If you are sending an email you first typed up on, say, MS Word, and it can be fitted in the email, please do not send the letter as an attachment, copy and paste it into your email, needless attachments lead to animosity.
• Patience is a virtue – Keep in mind that while some people seem to check their email hourly, others may not check their email for a couple of days, don’t be angry if you think someone is ignoring your email, they may not have had the chance the read it yet. On the other hand, if you are expecting an email, make sure you yourself make the time to read and reply, after all, you know how you feel when you are waiting for an answer, don’t you?
• The magic button - When replying to a group email, and there is only one person you’re really replying to, please do not automatically hit your “reply to all” button, send your two cents worth to that person only, everybody will appreciate it.

Now that you know the basics of email etiquette, keep in mind that not everyone knows these simple rules, and contain yourself from correcting another’s writing.

Traditional Etiquette: "Congratulations" to the Groom and "Best Wishes" to the Bride

This is an old standby of tradition which people disregard. You are supposed to give your "best wishes" to the bride and "congratulations" to the groom.

The concept is that "congratulations" implies that someone has won a prize or caught something, and it is somehow impolite to imply that the bride "caught" her husband or simply the old etiquette did not imply that the bride had won the groom, but that the groom had won the bride.

Nowadays, it is entirely correct to say "best wishes" to both, and to avoid controversy.

Sign of Peace

Making the sign of Peace (forefinger and middle finger open in the shape of a "V") is fine for as long as your palm is facing outwards - if you put the back of your hand towards the person or people you are communicating to, - then you are achieving the same result of giving someone "the finger".

Simple "Bless You"

In the Philippines, when you are introduced to your host's children, you should offer your hand back upwards, then the child touch your hand to their forehead, you are expected to say "Bless You". Not to do so is considered rude.

Table Manners

Every families have established their own table manners. Here are a few that should be remembered:

• Never reach for any food that is not right in front of you. Ask someone to pass it. And if you are passing something, don't help yourself along the way.
• If your food is too hot, wait for it to cool. Don't blow on it.
• If you put something in your mouth that's too hot, don't spit it out. Reach for your water and take a quick swallow.
• Don't talk with your mouth full.
• Bring your food up to your mouth rather than bending over to reach it.

Simple Manners at Home

Home is where you learn to get along with people. The closer you live with other people, the more important good manners are.

It is important for members of a family to consider each other's privacy. No matter how crowded a home is, everyone in it has a right to some place that is his own. Here are some privacy don'ts:

• Don't open a closed door until you have knocked and waited for permission to enter.
• Don't go into anyone else's things at home or anywhere else without his permission.
• Don't read anyone's mail or anything he has written (like diary) unless he asks you to.
• Don't discuss the private affairs of your family with outsiders or tell about a family problem.